Eclectic Theological Man: My Kids Will Turn Out Warped

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

My Kids Will Turn Out Warped

So while my wife was out for the night at worship practice, we throw in the Weird Al DVDs and dang, my kids are singing the Weird Al songs! Man, how many times have they watched these? How much cooler is it that Weird Al is into Star Wars?

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Weekend of August 2-3, "Jesus the Ultimate Human," New Hope Mililani

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"You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you? Huh?" -Joker (as he puts on glasses and Batman punches him), Batman
"Oh great, REAL bullets!!!" -Lucky, The Three Amigos
"I caught you a delicious bass." -Napoleon, Napoleon Dynamite
"Poison clan rocks the world!" -Five Deadly Venoms (classic Black Belt Theater movie)
"Gunga galunga...gunga, gunga-galunga." -Carl Spackler, Caddyshack
"I want to say hello to my parents and my Kung Fu master, but they're all dead." -Sing (talking to a TV camera), Shaolin Soccer
"Son of a...! That's gonna leave a mark." -Tommy Callahan, Tommy Boy
"See? Billy Idol gets it!" -Robbie, The Wedding Singer
"I have GOT to get me one of these!" -Capt. Steven Hiller, Independence Day
"You'd need at least a dozen guys, doing a combination of cons. Well, off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boesky, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros, and a Leon Spinks. Not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald...ever." -Rusty, Ocean's 11
"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." -Dread Pirate Roberts, The Princess Bride
"Look who knows so much. Well, it just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead." -Miracle Max, The Princess Bride
"Red light! Green light!" -Ethan Hunt, Mission: Impossible, just before he is about to put explosive gum on the helicopter in the Chunnel.
"Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now!" -Elwood Blues, The Blues Brothers
"Superman! Thank God. I mean… get him!" -Lex Luthor, Superman II
"All right, you proved your point. You broke into my vault. Congratulations, you're a dead man." -Terry Benedict, Ocean's Eleven
"Gentlemen. You are the top one percent of all Naval aviators. The elite. Best of the best. We'll make you better." -Viper, Top Gun
"Nice try, Lao Che!" -Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
"It's clobberin' time!" -Ben Grimm, Fantastic Four
"I'm not going to kill you. But I don't have to save you." -Batman to Ra's Al Ghul, Batman Begins
"You were the Chosen One! It was said you would destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!" -Obi-Wan Kenobi, Revenge of the Sith
"Come to me, son of Jor-El! KNEEL before ZOD!!" -General Zod, Superman II
"I expect and demand your very best. Anything less, you should have joined the Air Force." -Capt. Frank Ramsey, Crimson Tide
"My mouth's bleeding, Bert! My mouth's bleeding! Zuzu's petals...Zuzu's petals! There they are!" -George Bailey, It's A Wonderful Life
[Sarcastically imitating Capt. Marko Ramius] "'Be careful. Most things in here don't react well to bullets.' Yeah! Like me!" -Jack Ryan, The Hunt for Red October
"These are not the droids you're looking for." -Ben Kenobi, Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope
"Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." -Ben Kenobi, Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope
"This is madness. We're doomed." -C-3PO, Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope
McCroskey: "Johnny, what can you make outta this?" [hands him a map] Johnny: "This? Why I could make a hat, or a brooch, a pterodactyl..." Airplane
"I named the dog 'Indiana'" -Dr. Henry Jones, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
"And, you people, you're all astronauts . . . on some kind of star trek?" -Zephram Cochrane, Star Trek: First Contact
"How come I come I stay you go." -Local Argument #7, Poi Dog With Crabs, Rap Reiplinger
"Look eye! Always look eye!" -Mr. Miyagi, The Karate Kid
"Wait a minute, Doc. Are you telling me that you built a time machine...out of a DeLorean?!" -Marty McFly, Back to the Future
"Lando Calrissian. He's a card player, a gambler, a scoundrel. You'd like him." -Han Solo to Leia Organa, The Empire Strikes Back
"That's a big Twinkie." -Winston regarding the pschokinetic energy in New York, Ghostbusters
"He chose poorly." -Knight guarding the Holy Grail, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Indiana: "Meet me at Omar's. Be ready for me. I'm going after that truck." Sallah: "How?" Indiana: "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go." Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
Statler: "You Old Fool! You slept through the show!" Waldorf: "Who's the fool, YOU WATCHED IT?!" The Muppet Show
"Bow to her. Bow to the queen of slime, the queen of filth, the queen of putrescence. Boo, boo! Rubbish, slime, filth, muck! Boo, boo, boo!" - The Hag, "The Princess Bride"

"Little problem, little solutions; Big problem, little solutions"
"Don't be a complainer, be a problem-solver. If you can't solve the problem, don't complain."
"Our life doesn't really begin until we die. This life is just the preshow, the warm-up." - Bob Sjogren
"Time management isn't prioritizing your schedule, it's scheduling your priorities." - Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
"All theology must eventually become biography." Tim Hansel, You Gotta Keep Dancin'
"Don't fall in love with the Word of God more than the God of the Word."
"Wherever the King is that's where the Kingdom is." - Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi

Eclectic Theological Man

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

My Kids Will Turn Out Warped

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