My Dad Celebrates New Year's Early

God bless my dad. He tried to bring my sister and I up with a normal childhood, including popping fireworks on New Year's. My dad worked real hard at building a frame on our car garage to hang the 10,000 firecrackers that would go off at New Year's. The problem was that he didn't think through things too carefully. While he was walking around the yard without a shirt, he carried the firecrackers on a plastic tray, WHILE SMOKING A CIGARETTE. I think you can see where this is going.

All it took was one ash to fall on the firecrackers and KABLOOIE! All 10,000 firecrackers went off way before midnight along with the plastic tray. My dad suffered a gash in the middle of his chest which he still shows off to this day. God bless my dad.